"The Casserole Brigade" Update

The "Casserole Brigade" or "Meal Train" (as Daveena calls it) is back in action again.

Xander Morgan Wells was welcomed joyously into the Wells family and the Daybreak community on Sunday, July 26. The family arrived home on Sunday, August 2 with several community hand-me-downs already in place, including the co-sleeper and other stuff from Max. An initial supply of soups in the freezer started off the food deliveries. From the sign up sheet, the Wells family has gotten a food deliver every day this week! And the plan had been for 2-3 per week. Okay so everyone wants to meet Xander. The food sign up already goes out more then a month.

Informal Connections - The "Casserole Brigade"

It seems that so many of our Daybreak stories revolve around food. And this is another one. When talking about community, I like to share stories to give a ‘flavor’ of what community can be like even before we live at the same address.

Our personal support for each other has grown and already is a complex web of connections. For me, a prime example of this support is what I sometimes call the ‘casserole brigade’. The bringing of food to those in need is nothing new in society. I’m just amazed how swiftly we have incorporated it into our community. We’ve seen an interesting trail of support.

When Ken was in a bike accident last year, several of us would informally drop off some food so that Scot had more time to devote to Ken and her art. Once Ken was feeling better, but still not allowed to be mobile, we dropped by periodically to chat and visit. When Martha had major surgery, folks not only went with her to doctor’s appointments, we also had a two-week schedule to bring a meal for her every day. When Max was born, the food schedule was spread out in hopes of relieving Tiffany and Alex a bit. We also came by informally to help get things done around their home. When Julie headed off to South America for a couple weeks, we sent food offerings home with Matt periodically so he and Peyton could have simple meals without having to take time to plan, shop, and cook. And Matt was sent off to relax a bit while others babysat.

As with many things, we laugh and say all this will be much easier to do when we live at the same address.

Creating Rituals - Welcoming New Members

In a recent post I talked about the aprons we use as part of our welcoming ceremony for new members. And I haven’t put it into the context of our overall welcoming ceremony.

As with our community, our welcoming ceremony is informal and homey. And it still has a little structure. The idea was to make the ceremony a re-bonding experience for everyone and a simple, but heart-felt welcome. At their inception, rituals can feel a bit home-spun, but they build quickly and don’t need to be elaborate.

We begin with a community member reading our Declaration of Interdependence, written by an early member, Adin. I believe we still sigh and smile softly whenever it is read. Ken recently posted it to the whole group as a reminder that ‘we are all in this together’. Powerful words in these times. Then the community member who is the Buddy to the specific member we are celebrating, offers a few words about their relationship and their impressions about that special individual, couple, or family. The Buddy then offers a token gift to the new member. It can be an example of their relationship, something personal, or associated with our community. We’ve had small artistic renderings in a variety of mediums, spheres, notebooks, scrolls, scarves, all fun. The Buddy then offers the apron, that he or she usually has created, to our newest member. If it is a family, multiple aprons are donned. Sometimes, the joining member waits until this moment to make a ceremony of writing a check as part of joining the community. Usually our new members say a few words and the photo op occurs. Then we go through the ritual of formally adding the new member to our legal entity (boring) by signing a form, and we all sign a copy of our Declaration of Interdependence to give as a momento to the new member.

The beauty of this ceremony is that it has a little structure but is very fluid. The set elements are still relaxed and personal. They fit us well.

Informal Invitations

Creating Community in a Forming Cohousing Group Part 2

By Sterling Newberry

At various times, we at Daybreak Cohousing have felt the strain of so much work to do in developing our future home. We realized early on that we needed to be especially conscious of building in pure social time as a balance to all our work, and to ensure that the extended family relationships grow along with the infrastructure. This is part 2 of ways we are attempting to address this.

A second way we are building community is through informal group invitations. These are spontaneous and individually organized. Recently, I heard about a public invitation from Cascadia Commons, an existing cohousing community nearby, about a folk music duo coming to perform in their common house. I sent out an invitation over our Google group, and several people responded. We ended up being half of the group at the concert. We not only had a fun social time together with good music, but connected with our fellow cohousers as well.

These activities can be an open invitation to a movie, concert, forum or book or poetry reading. The key thing is that they are not about the work part of building our community. People come up with things they like to do and would love to have friends come along with them. While any one of us might have relied on a preexisting group of friends in the past, and might invite them to this informal group invitation, we also are being conscious about including our Daybreak family. This can have the benefit of mingling our emerging Daybreak family with our other friends or genetic family members as well.

These are less regular and more spontaneous than our Sharing Suppers, and attendance depends more on shared interests then the Suppers, which are centered often on our shared interest in food and being with each other around food.

By Sterling Newberry